Люди - странные существа

Ну и что? Что Вам мешает выпить два стакана вместо одного?

Ну вот. А меня учили, что Менделеев вошел в историю именно потому, что придумал 40-градусную водку.

Поняла.
Вино и пиво - ни-ни. Сперва выпариваете их до нужного процента, а уж потом только пьете.

Навеяло...
Мне досталась сахарница, когда-то купленая прабабкой мужа. Стало быть - где-то в 19м веке.
Сахарница - серебряная, сделана в виде сундучка, массивная, 9х9х14 см.
Сегодня серебряные вещи такой тяжести - стоят хотя бы 1000 долларов.
Но деталь:
у сахарницы - есть замочек, чтобы рачительная хозяйка могла запереть сахар от вороватых слуг.
И вот я не понимаю:
сколько же стоил сахар в те годы, что потратившиеся на такую сахарницу, должны были его запирать?

Протестую!
Мой муж всегда был честным человеком, да и сахарница - его лет на 40 старше. Это же была его прабабка..

Новая книга "Кто такие женщины?" наконец-то появилась в магазинах.

Но ведь сколько хлопот!
Помнить, где махонький ключик, отсчитывать домашним по 2 кусочка за каждой едой...

Прямо как в фильме Титаник!

Суровые будни адвокатов:
Взяты из книги "Беспорядок в Американских Судах", и это то, что люди действительно говорили в зале суда, т.е. - часть стенограммы
-----------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
_____________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney.

Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
__________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

"Еще немножко и речь пойдет о настоящих деньгах" (c)
Группа ученых Иерусалимского Уноверситета, занимающихся изучением мозговой деятельности, получила на свои исследования крупнейший грант Европейского Союза:
ОДИН МИЛЛИАРД ЮРО.
!!!!! Ура нам!!!!
Поскольку университет заберет себе хотя бы треть, это решит кучу финансовых проблем.